I Love You, Sweet Leaf (but maybe we should just be friends)

Imagine you break up with The Love Of Your Life. Or maybe it was she who broke up with you, you are actually not sure what happened. But one thing you know for sure, that relationship hasn't been good for a long time and it had to end.

It was a very long relationship. The longest and most serious relationship you ever had. 
You met when you were young and innocent. In the beginning she wasn't that important. It was just one of those nice casual things that happens when you are a teenager. But as you got older it got more serious and deeper. A crush developed into love. Friends with benefits turned into passionate lovers. 
She became your everything. You knew she was always there, and you thought you couldn't live without her. 
You had the greatest nights of your life with The Love Of Your Life, but also the worst mornings.

And as the nights became greater and greater, the mornings became worse and worse with big rows and tears and mean hurtful words and actions, that you can never ever forget.

In the end those bad mornings happened much more often than the great nights, and many times the nights were as bad as the mornings. One morning after a huge row that had been going on for weeks and seemed to never end, you realized you had enough.

This day it was suddenly crystal clear that The Love Of Your Life actually made you feel like shit most of the time, and the nights she made you feel good again were few and far between.

So even if you still loved her, you had to walk away.


It hurts like hell.


Even if you know you made the right decision, you still love her and miss her so much you could cry. 
There's a big empty hole in your heart were she used to be.


So after a few months you are getting involved with Her Best Friend.

It's almost her, isn't it? 
She was always around all those years and she's a very nice girl. You really enjoyed the company of both The Love Of Your Life and Her Best Friend at the same time. Those girls were great together.
She can almost make you laugh as much as The Love Of Your Life did.

And the best is: She can't make you cry because you don't have any serious feelings for her.

The nights with Her Best Friend is good and gives you some satisfaction. It's a nice substitute. 

But deep inside you know what you're doing:

You are just trying to fill that big empty hole in your heart that keeps you awake at night.


For a long time you are involved with Her Best Friend. But it's not the same. And after a while you notice you are not that eager to visit her anymore. Her company is nice, but you don't need it.

It takes longer and longer between the times you visit Her Best Friend. Sometimes you avoid her for months. A casual hook up is nice but then you make sure you don't see her for a while.

And then a thought gets stuck in your head that you can't get rid of:

You really are not the kind of guy who goes for second choices. In the long run it's just frustrating and boring.

And even more important: As long as you keep hooking up with Her Best Friend you will never ever forget The Love Of Your Life. Her Best Friend just keep reminding you of The Love Of Your Life. Every time you see Her best Friend you miss The Love Of Your Life.

She keeps your head stuck in the past.
And that big empty hole in your heart will never ever disappear.

But it will not hurt like hell this time, to just walk away from Her Best Friend.

So you do that, without any drama.


There is still a big empty whole in your heart. But now, when it's not filled with a second choice, you give your heart a chance to heal itself. And it will.

If you just give it some time and don't stress it, your heart will be whole again some day.


I love you, Sweet Leaf. But I'm not In Love with you.

So it's time to say farewell.


Footnote: I know Ozzy Osbourne says he loved Sweet Leaf in this tune. But the song he wrote to The Love Of His Life is Suicide Solution.






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